Why do I feel ugly when I take out my weave?

I just wanted to get my readers feel about weaves.

Now I am the first to tell you that I LOVE weaves! They have been a great way for me to grow out my hair. My hair is strong and healthy and I am so happy with the condition of my hair. But here lies the problem.

Why is it that the moment you take out you weave you feel less attractive. You feel like your beauty is determined by the artificial hair that you have in your hair. Now maybe this is just me and please let me know if that is the case. Right now I have no weave (as you can obveously see in the pic =). I have used wonderful products (miss Jessies Curly Buttercreme) that have made it look amazing! But for some reason I am not feeling as attractive as I usually do. Why do I feel like I need a Beyonce lace front wig to be beautiful. I should look at myself in the mirror and think WOW! Right?

Then I think about my daughter. Was I teaching her to hate her beautiful natural hair by wearing weaves? Like any child she wants to do what her mother does and if her mom has a weave guess what she wanted...a weave. She didn't get one because she is far too young for that.

Well now I am rocking it natural and I do like it but there is still something in the back of my mind that is telling me that I need to have long hair to be beautiful. Has anyone else felt that way before? Let me know


At January 13, 2009 at 1:40 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with you. I have been wearing my own hair for months now. I just don't feel as attractive as I do when i have weave in...especially right after I take it out. I can't really tell you why I feel the way I do. But one thing I can say is I feel the same way. SMH

At January 19, 2009 at 6:28 PM , Anonymous msbunmi said...

I agree Ktuck. Even though I rocked the natural for at least a year, there was always a part of me that would see the celebrites with long silky hair, and I would yearn for my straight hair again. But I tried for so long to grow my hair long but could never achieve the hair I wanted. So going natural seemed like a good idea.But if you are around people who do not support your natural look, you will have people who constantly tell you that they like your hair better straight, further perpetuating the need to have straight long hair. It takes courage and self-pride to not care what others think or say and just embrace your "natural you." It's a tough battle if you did not start off being natural and are trying to experiment now, but i guess eventually we will figure it out.

At March 28, 2009 at 5:02 PM , Anonymous babybrown said...

I think length and manageabiility are important things (outside of some of us who suffer from post traumatic slavery disorder, and who subsequently hate their own Blackness - this is a real term, you can google it)...

learning how to style it has been a challenge for me... Miss Jessies don't do jack for me... but my head actually feels free when I first take my hair out, BUT learning how to style it (for now) is a real drag! :)

At May 5, 2009 at 3:04 PM , Blogger Adaeze said...

i used to feel this way, before i started going to school and working fulltime. i was so busy that all i cared about was looking pulled together. one day i looked at myself and my curls and i thought "wow., this is what i really look like!" and i wasn't disappointed. i was thrilled. finally 'me' was enough, n extensions, tracks or wefts.

At May 27, 2009 at 10:41 PM , Blogger Karima said...

I love this site Kristen because I think you speak for so many of us! I think that as black women, we tend not to feel as beautiful until our hair is bone straight and beautiful. Weaves for us are like security blankets - and I know I always feel better when I have either a weave or braids in my hair. Rarely do I wear my hair our naturally, because I know subconsciously I do feel my best when I have a weave (my security blanket). As slightly ashamed as I feel of this acknowledgement, I still love the way I look when I have my straight hair and look sleek.

At June 16, 2009 at 1:11 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh my goodness...that's your natural????? I would love to have that right now!


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